The Master, born on November 30th, 1995 Is the First and Foremost Lord of The Happy Floater. The Master assumed the role of First and Foremost Lord in the year 2000, when The Father left to embark upon the Great Journey in the Stars. At the time of his coronation, The young Master was only six years old, however, that did not stop him from engaging in some of the most heinous acts of debauchery in recorded history. At the time of his departure, The Father appointed Barnabus to be the regent for the young Master, to ensure that the Glorious Pacific People's Republic did not fall into ruin.

Early LifeEdit

The Master was born on November 30th 1995, in Hudson, Ohio. Shortly after his birth Barnabus was appointed as regent of The Happy Floater after The Father left for parts unknown. In the fifth grade, The master was suspended from school for approaching one of his female classmates and saying "I wanna lift up your babhuska and look at your yams." 


The Master's heinous porking has become known around the world, some of his more famous acts are described below.

  • Gland to Gland Combat
  • The Battle of Balls Deep
  • It is rumored that The Master funded both combatants of the Rwandan Genocide as part of his Urban Removal plan, to secure the land for a personal swimming pool and ski lodge.